Balancing Act

It's been about 7 months since I went back to work part-time. I have to admit that it's nice to have adult conversations but I miss my daughter constantly. I worry that I am missing improtant milestones that I will never get back. The purpose for my going back to work was to save that income...I've recently realized that it hasn't worked out like we thought. I mean by the time we pay the sitter, gas to/from work, the wear & tear on the van, the eating out b/c I'm tired when I get home...it really hasn't done us any good at all for me to be back working. I think we were better off while I was staying home b/c I kept an eye on our finances and the well-being of my family.

I really miss being able to take care of my husband and my daughter. I miss the dinners at the table, the games on the floor, snuggling on the couch watching movies...all of it. I tend to realize that my life consists of getting up and ready for work, getting my daughter up and ready, rushing out the door to the sitter, then to work, working for 5 hours, rushing to pick up my daughter and then coming home to a house needing the same attention as my family. Where in the world can I get more hours?

I try to stay organized as possible but that's even getting harder and harder to do. Maybe I am getting slower at my chores or just more lazy. I hope I am just getting slower...I don't want to be lazy. The more I feel like I have a handle on things, the more it backfires in my face and I have to come up with another plan. I feel so tired all the time and by the looks of things around the house, I need to be doing more. But what about my family. What's important to me is them...then the house. Sadly though, if I take care of them, the house gets neglected and then I am at a loss of even more time that I don't have, to try to keep the place manageable.

Well, it's almost time for me to get ready to rush this morning...hopefully this will be a good week. I've got most of the laundry completed, except for putting it up. I hate putting up laundry, don't ask why b/c I have no clue. The dishes are washed but not put away. My living room looks like a tornado hit, which is what happens when a 3 year old comes back from a weekend at the grandparents with all her stuff she felt like she needed to take. It's all on the floor and ottoman...hopefully no one will fall on it. That's my project this afternoon, to clean up her mess on the floor...after I hear "help me mommy" when I tell her she should clean that mess up. Well, I hear the alarm clock in the other room going crazy and my loud, snoring husband...guess I better call it quits for now.